Breaking Ryann Read online

  “Are you? Are you really?” Of course he’s not sorry. If he were sorry, he would’ve left me alone like he’d told me he would.

  “I said it. Didn’t I?” He frowns, looking around the empty break room then back to me.

  “You say a lot of things you don’t mean.”

  “All right, I deserve that.” He drops his head and continues, “But when are you gonna to give me a chance to talk? There are things I need to say—things I’ve wanted to say for a long time.”

  “Oh no. You fooled me once. I’m not going to let you do it again.” I shake my head. “You and I’ve got no relationship outside this gym.” A sick feeling stirs inside my belly, as soon as the words leave my mouth. The love and hatred I feel for this man only brings me confusion. Why can’t it be just one or the other?

  “There’s no reason we can’t be friends, Reese. You’re good for me,” he murmurs.

  “Huh, well you’re not good for me. And there are several reasons why we can’t be friends.” Who is he kidding?

  He steps toward me with narrowed eyes, and his clean soapy scent washes over me. “Why won’t you let me explain? What are you afraid of?”

  I notice the way his shirt stretches over his muscled chest, and how his arms flex against his sleeves. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  “Yeah.” His voice is soft as he moves closer; his brown eyes reel me in. “Well I think you’re lying.”

  Don’t fall for his charm, Reese. I back away and find my voice. “I don’t care what you think. We keep things professional. Are we clear?”

  He rubs a palm over his face, then with an exaggerated breath, he agrees, “Yes ma’am. Crystal.”

  “Will you be able to control your urges?”

  Blinking three times before he cups a hand behind his ear, he says, “My what?”

  He knows what I said.

  “Could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you right.” His mouth twitches.

  I’m not trying to be funny. “Your urges,” I growl. “The flirty comments, the sexual innuendoes, and inappropriate touching. Can you keep a handle on that?”

  “I was getting ready to ask you the same thing.” He leans back, folding his arms.

  “And that thing you’re doing with your eyes. You definitely can’t do that.”

  “My eyes?” He laughs incredulously. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asks, placing his palm over my forehead. “You feeling okay?”

  I’m mad this entertains him. “You’re breaking a rule right now!”

  “I asked you a question!”

  “You were smirking, the way you do, where just the left dimple shows. You do that when you’re flirting!” My eyes land on his dimple. And I can’t control how I feel when you do those things.

  I can tell this pinches a nerve with him. “Your rules are impossible. What if I don’t agree to them?”

  “If you respect me, you will! End of story!”

  “Fine! We done?”

  “Yes!” I say in response, but he doesn’t hear me. He’s already left the room.

  Despite our confrontation, class moves along swiftly. Luke and the girls connect right off the bat, which isn’t a surprise. He’s a natural. When I encouraged him to take over the rest of the period, it was clear I’d shocked him. Guess he doesn’t know me like he says he does. To be honest, I wasn’t ready to teach, knowing he’d be watching. Relationship aside, I’ve seen him work with the kids, and I enjoy their interaction.

  “You ready, Reese?”

  “Huh?” I’m quickly snapped out of my thoughts.

  He takes a quick peek at the clock. “We’ve got ten minutes. You want to help me demonstrate, or is it breaking one of your rules?”

  His snide remark doesn’t get past me. It’s obvious his ego’s been bruised. “You mean you and me?” I stand up. Of course he means us! And why did my voice just squeak?

  “Yes.” A hint of a smirk plays on his lips as he nods slowly. “Do you think you can you handle that?” he says, throwing my words back at me.

  I lift my chin and tug on the hem of my shorts. “Can you?” Okay, so maybe I’m bluffing, ‘cause I have no idea what we’re demonstrating. My mind just sort of drifted off for a bit.

  “Ooohhh,” some of the girls say out loud. They’re lined up with their backs against the cage.

  “This is going to be good,” Taylor says on the end, while the rest of them snicker with one another.

  “What? You don’t think I can take him?”

  Luke’s eyes connect with mine. “I don’t know. She’s pretty tough.”

  “But you’re stronger,” Maddy replies.

  Figures they’d take his side.

  “You want to back out?” he asks, looking all too smug.

  I raise an arched brow. “Now why in the world would I do that?”

  He gives a single nod. “Okay then.” Turning toward the girls, he adds, “I’m gonna take her down and attempt to choke her.” He’s got their undivided attention. “Watch us carefully. It may save your life one day.” Switching his gaze back to me, he asks, “You ready?”

  Yeah, now that you’ve just explained.

  I give him the go ahead, and he comes at me, easily taking me down so that I’m flat on my back. Pressing my palms against his chest as he straddles me, I can feel his steady heartbeat. His large hands wrap around my throat, squeezing with light pressure. We stare into one another’s eyes, and I lose my concentration, getting sucked in.

  “You okay?” he whispers, scanning my face with concern.

  Keeping my elbows close to my body, I place my folded arms over his. “I’m fine,” I grit out, pressing down on his forearms. Why does he have to look at me like that? I groan inwardly. Flashes of our tangled limbs and tongues begin to fill my brain, then the sexual promises he’d once made me … a rush of warmth pools between my legs. What the hell? Is it really that easy for him?

  I lift my hips as high as they can go, keeping my arms in the same position. When I slam them to the ground, I do a crunch at the same time, bending his arms. This loosens his grip enough so that I can place my feet above his knees, pushing down on his thighs. He grunts, and I scoot away, forcing him to release me. “That’s enough for today,” I pant, feeling my chest rise and fall. “Class is over.” Standing up, I put my hands on my hips unable to look at him. I’m embarrassed. God, I hope he didn’t notice. There are children around, for heaven’s sake, yet he still manages to arouse me.

  “We’ll go over this again next week,” I hear Luke say from behind me.

  The girls pile out of the cage. I follow the line to escape the awkwardness. C’mon, girls. Move along.

  “What happened back there?”

  I stay where I am. There’s no way I’m giving him the truth. “I guess I’m a little rusty.” Turning around, I add, “It’s been awhile since somebody’s tried to choke me.”

  His eyes roam over me like he’s trying to figure me out. “Were you afraid?”

  I can tell he actually believes this. Why? I don’t know. “Don’t give yourself too much credit. You don’t scare me.”

  The cords in his tattooed arm flex as he grips the back of his neck. “Do you want me to quit?”

  “What if I said yes?”

  He strides toward me, stopping just a few inches away. “Then I’ll go.”

  “It’s not up to me.”

  “You and I both know it is.”

  I swallow, and he watches the movement.

  “Pam would hate me.”

  He shrugs. “I’ll make up an excuse.”

  “You’d really leave the gym for me?” I look at him, skeptical.

  He nods once. “If that’s what you wanted.”

  “It isn’t.” The words come out fast. “You’re good with them. I don’t have to tell you that. They like you, and you leaving wouldn’t be fair to them.” I convince myself that this is the only reason he should stay.

  Those cognac-colored eyes take me in. It’s hard
not to fidget, but I can’t look away. “You sure that’s what you want?”

  “Yeah.”

  A slow grin spreads across his face. “Then I’ll stay.”

  “Don’t get any ideas.” I blow a strand of hair that falls out of place, and he gently tucks it away, making my skin prickle. His eyes move from my neck, down my arms. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your … personal life,” I clear my throat, “but I mean it, Luke. I’m not that kind of girl.”

  He frowns. “You think I don’t know what kind of girl you are?”

  “I’m not sure what to think anymore.”

  “Where is this coming from? The preppy douche bag living in my house?”

  “Don’t bring him into this. He’s got a name.”

  “And you were quick to find out what it is. Weren’t you?” he snarls.

  “That’s hardly fair. Don’t you think?”

  He tugs on his already messy hair. “Fuck fair! Nothing about us has been fair!”

  My eyes widen, glancing around to see if anyone is watching. There are people in the other room, but far enough away that they probably didn’t hear him. When I turn back, I narrow my eyes. “You did this! You brought this upon yourself!” I hiss. “Remember?” You ran off and married someone else! Knowing my voice will probably crack, I don’t say that part out loud, but I can feel it fighting to burst out of me.

  “I can’t stand him putting his tiny hands on you. He’s lucky he’s still breathing after the show he put on last night.”

  “I didn’t mean for you to see that. I’m sorry.” I wouldn’t want him sucking face with his wife in my presence. It was bad enough hearing her go on about their sex life the way that she did.

  “Do you love him?”

  My brows rise to my hairline. He has a lot of nerve asking me that. “This conversation is officially over.” I start walking away, saying over my shoulder, “You of all people shouldn’t be asking me that.”

  “It’s a simple yes or no answer,” he replies from behind me.

  I scurry off to put some distance between us, my head down so no one will try to talk to me. I send Gia a text, needing my best friend. I just hope she’ll be able to forgive me when I finally tell her what I’ve been hiding.

  “You’re sure you’re not on medication … something that could bring on delusions?” Gia stands in her pajamas, pouring herself another glass of wine. I’d just informed her about Luke having a wife, as well as the night he’d surprised me on the rooftop. I should have known she would react this way. I guess I thought she’d take my word for it.

  I roll my eyes. “I’m not crazy. She’s real.”

  “I don’t think you’re crazy.” She bites her lip. “But if this is true, it would mean Logan’s been lying all this time.”

  “Not necessarily. What if he doesn’t know?” It wasn’t my intention to get Logan in trouble.

  “Are you kidding? Logan would definitely know.”

  “Maybe,” I murmur, quickly picking a piece of lint from my pants. “But what if he doesn’t?”

  “I don’t think Luke would keep something like that from him. It’s too big of a deal.” She rests her chin in her hand. “Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding. That would make more sense.” Tilting her head, she continues, “Think about it. We would have seen her around by now.”

  “I’ve seen her.” I play with the stem of my glass. “I’ve seen her a couple of times.”

  Twisting a curl around her finger, her brows bunch together. “Outside of the hospital?”

  “Yeah.” I move to the couch. Gia follows and plops down next me. “She was carrying boxes into their house,” I continue. “The next time their dog had gotten out. She came over to collect him and introduced herself.”

  We sit in silence for a moment, before she asks the dreaded question. “What does she look like?”

  I groan, remembering her confidence, the sway of her silky dark hair, and nicely toned body. “Like she belongs on the cover of Cosmo.”

  “You’ve always been an exaggerator.” She playfully nudges me. “I bet she doesn’t compare to you.”

  “Thanks, but it’s true.” I inhale a long, slow breath, before quickly releasing it, “Anyway, it shouldn’t matter. I’ve moved on.”

  “Have you?” Her face is sympathetic. “You don’t seem very happy. You haven’t for a long time.”

  Has it seemed that way to everyone? I close my eyes. “Aside from being confused, I don’t know what I am anymore.”

  “Let’s go over some details again.” She folds her legs, getting comfy. “It’ll help me process.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re at the hospital talking with one of the nurses.” She lifts her brows to confirm.

  “Correct.”

  “Then a woman comes in and asks for Luke Ryann’s room.”

  I lick my lips, laying my head against the couch. “At first I thought I was hearing things, but then it made sense since I’d seen his sister there earlier. It never really crossed my mind she’d been there for Luke … until that moment.”

  “Plus, you thought Luke was thousands of miles away at the time. Must have been pretty shocking.”

  “To say the least.” I give a defeated laugh. “I wanted to see him—find out what had happened, and if he was okay. That’s when a nurse walked up and recognized the woman, saying she was his wife. She said she had been there twice.” I cringe at the memory.

  “What happened next?”

  “I watched as she led her to his room. The rest is all a blur.”

  “And you never found out why he was there?” she asks softly.

  “I didn’t get a chance … but he obviously pulled through.” I tip my head toward his house, finishing the rest of my wine.

  She pours me another. “I need to talk to Logan,” she says, topping off her own glass.

  “Don’t! I’d rather he not know. Luke’s been hiding it for a reason, and telling you is humiliating enough.”

  “You’re protecting him?”

  I shake my head. “I’m protecting myself.”

  “You’re so certain he doesn’t know.” She frowns. “What if you’re wrong?”

  “Logan’s heart happens to belong to my best friend. Luke’s probably not proud of the fact we were still together when it happened. He knows it was a dick move.”

  She nods, finally getting it. “So you’re saying he doesn’t want to look like a cheating bastard.”

  “Maybe he wants to play it off like they married after we split.”

  She twists a curl around her finger. “When was the last time you saw her?”

  “It’s been a couple months.”

  “Months?” Her brows bunch together. “Well, that’s odd. Don’t you think?”

  “Maybe they’re having problems?” I shrug. It’s the only reason I can come up with. “Still doesn’t change what he did.”

  Her eyes get huge. “Oh my God! I just thought of something! You know how you’ve been getting that feeling like someone’s following you?”

  “Yeah.”

  For the past month, I’ve seen the same white pickup truck show up in places I happen to be. I’d only noticed it because of the tin foil on the back passenger windows, and the bumper loaded with stickers. One time, late at night, I was driving on the other side of town. The roads weren’t very busy, but I’d seen the same truck in my rearview, speeding up behind me. Right as a panic started to settle deep in my gut, the truck had passed me, cutting me off, before turning down a side street.

  When I came home and explained it all to Gia, she’d blamed it on me watching too many scary movies. I’d figured she’d probably been right, and haven’t had a run in with it since.

  “What if it’s her? What if they’re having problems because she found out about you, and now she’s stalking you?” She bubbles up in laughter.

  “I don’t think that’s funny.”

  “Well, what if it’s her?”

  “The truck had t
in foil all over the back windows and a crap load of bumper stickers—not exactly a vehicle I’d place her in.”

  “True.” She taps her finger over her lips. “Back to that night on the rooftop … the rose petals, the gifts, the set up with the candles, the dinner … why would he do that?”

  “I don’t know. To apologize, I guess.”

  “And you said he admitted it? Told you he got married?”

  “Not in those words, but yes.” I take another drink. The liquid burns going down. So I pound a fist against my chest, and my eyes water.

  “You never told me his explanation.”

  “That’s because you called me delusional.”

  “Sorry,” she replies gently.

  I sigh. “He apologized. Said he hoped I’d find it in my heart to forgive him. It seemed sincere enough. He was genuinely upset.”

  Her mouth drops. “That’s it? No reason for why he did it? You deserve at least that.”

  “He tried. I wouldn’t let him. I didn’t feel strong enough to sit through all the details. It hurt too much.”

  With wide eyes, she massages her temples. “There’s so much to take in. I’m just … really shocked.”

  “I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but it feels good to have someone to talk to. It’s been hard holding it all in.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m glad you told me.” She pulls me into hug. “I’m a little pissed you waited so long.”

  “I know … It’s just that I—”

  “I forgive you,” she interrupts, placing her hands on my shoulders. “And I feel like you and Luke still need to talk … get some answers. If anything, it’ll bring you closure.” We turned our heads at the sound of the door, finding Logan with a goofy grin on his face, looking back and forth between us.

  “Am I interrupting something?” he asks, making his way over.

  “You’re fine,” I sniff, before forcing a smile. I’d said what needed to be said.

  “You sure?” Gia asks hesitantly.

  I tip my head toward Logan. “Go give your man some love already. I’m about ready for bed.”

  His arms stretch wide, and she meets him with a kiss. He makes sure to use lots of tongue, then finally lets her go. “You ladies ready for Vegas?”